The Hoe Phase
Should you be able to explore your sexuality? Is a person considered liberated for wanting to explore their options in and out the bedroom? Is there shame in wanting to have multiple partners before being ready to commit? Is it an opportunity to learn what you like sexually and what you don't like? Can you be promiscuous and still be responsible at the same time?
Song Reference: Ludacris - Ho
I think every person in their life has experienced more than on sexual partner in their journey of adulthood. Unless of course your on some Anne Frank sheltered in an attic type of shit. People really put a horrible stigma towards others that Iive their life freely and engage in promiscuous activities with other people. How many people in today's generation can say they've had one or two partners. From the looks of things now-a-days people have one or two different partners every other month or so. A hoe phase is very common, it could be defined as a season or short period in your life that doesn't necessarily have to be just about intercourse itself but it could entail certain behaviors. Maybe you were in a period in your life where you like to dance a little raunchy at parties with strangers, maybe you like to dress in a provocative manner, maybe you like to kiss random people at the bar over the weekend or maybe you just like to get your freak on with whoever you felt could seal the deal.
When I talk about the hoe phase I don't want people to think I'm condoning a woman riding as many hot rods as she can handle or a guy tapping every piece of rump that he comes encounter with. I'm talking about being open to exploring your sexuality at some point in your life. It could give clarity on who you are and what you really like. How else would you find out what exactly stimulates you? How would you know what turns you on and off if you haven't experienced people to compare to? As a female do prefer girth over length or do you need both? As a male do you prefer a nicely shaped booty or do you you want "tig ol bitties" (aka succulent breast)? How could you possibly know what your love language is and how you want to be dealt with if you don't have any experience in exploring your own sexuality?
Issa Rae from the HBO hit show "Insecure" had an episode where she had dudes in a "hoe-tation" depending on what she felt like she was in the mood for she could call up one of her pieces and get her freak on. She explored what kinky stuff she was and wasn't really into like not talking so much during sex, needing some foreplay to set the mood right, and not wanting to get a creamed all over. Legendary filmmaker and director Spike Lee's "She's Gotta Have It" was recreated as a series on Netflix and Ms. Nola Darling was the prime example of what one scenario of "hoe phase" could look like. Her sexual liberation is unmatched she was dating three different men and a female all at once and they all were aware of each other and all agreed to her terms of agreement.
Ive had moments that could be considered a "hoe phase" my damn self. I've had guys not in a sexual rotation back to back, because i'm very particular who I lay down with but I've had different individuals all at a moments time who I wanted to entertain based off what I felt I needed. (No names used are real people) I've had Joey who was a mechanic or fixer-upper, Lamar who was fun to party with, Kris who was intelligent and fed my soul, Shaun who was a boss and could give me money or take me shopping, Brandon who was go-getter and helped connect me with influential people and I always had that one guy who could beat the frame off the kid. And this was at the same damn time. I needed variety and because I wasn't looking for anything serious I could pick and choose from who and what I wanted to give my time to at the moment, only difference with my hoe phase is that I don't like to "double dip" if you get what I mean.
Im gonna give you a few examples or what I like to call "trigger points" that will give you an idea of what kind of people are going thru a hoe phase and how to possibly tell. This applies to Female and Male.
The Rebound Phase : This is when a person is newly single and more than likely heartbroken and doesn't want to deal with the reality of being apart form their once significant other. They use this time to date hella people, have unmeaningful sex, and occupy their time at engaging in pointless encounters or activities all so they can try to ease their mind with the sadness, pain, anger, or saltiness they are experiencing from the break. This too shall pass!
The Quick Fix Phase : This is when a person has little too no time to truly date due to their career, goals, life circumstances or personal choice. They are looking for some good wood or some solid gushy that can get them by for the time being. It could be a short lived situation, a one night stand or maybe just a once in a blue moon quick fix to satisfy their needs. This happens usually when a woman or man has been on hiatus on they just need something to relive the stress they may have on their shoulders and then you won't here from them for a few weeks until they are ready to have some quick fun.
Woo is Me Phase : This a phase in someones life where they are feeling victimized or insecure in themselves. They are seeking love, affection, and attention and feel like they haven't been getting the things they need out of a man or woman so they go seeking solace thru heavy partying, binge drinking, or reckless sexual encounters all because they are yearn for that attention they are missing. These are the people who constantly put thirst traps online with deep quotes underneath not realizing the attention is on the ass, titties, and kitty on display. Or the stud who constantly post gym pictures but complains about not having a woman to lay his head next too at night.
The Rookie Phase: This is the phase when someone who is inexperienced in the world of sexuality. They are looking for answers on how this particular thing works or whats a good way to please themselves or another individual. For the novice (beginners or neewbies) they don't have any past references or experiences to refer to so they are just out here freely trying new things just to get a feel of what they hype is around a particular engagement or encounter. Or they may be getting their feet wet so they can build a catalog of memories or figure out whats best suited for them. These are the people who don't give a damn what anyone else has to say they just wanna get the experience for themselves and decide what works.
Those category of people can give you a synopsis of what you can expect with someone going thru a hoe phase rather they are aware of it at the time or not. Of course you have the individuals that are sheltered, misguided, insecure, and heartbroken but their circumstances a prolonged because these individuals are lost and need to heal themselves. But for now you can definitely get an idea of what or who to look at for based off of these four major categories I've given you. That's the "Play on Words" this week The Hoe Phase. Go over to the podcast link from the top of the page and listen to this weeks episode.